My Best Friend’s Wedding
by Kadi
PG-13

Disclaimer: Do you think I’d be posting these on the net if I were getting paid? No! ‘Cause Paramount is stingy and refuses to share! Meanies!!

Author's Note: Okay… this is another story that was started about two years ago. At the time I was working in a Video Rental store and I kept playing "My Best Friend's Wedding" over and over and over again. Well… This is what came of it. I found this on my laptop a few weeks ago, and after finding part of it in a spiral in my car, I decided to give it a go and… finally its finished!

*~~*~~*~~*On with the Story*~~*~~*~~*

“You’re not being fair Mark!” Kathryn exclaimed as she reached for her coffee.

“Well, no one ever said the truth was fair.” He leaned forward and stared at his long time friend, “All you ever do anymore is work, you might remember to eat or sleep every once and a while, but that’s it. I remember a time when you knew how to have fun.”

“I have plenty of fun,” she crossed her arms in stubborn defiance, “when I can.”

“An example of that being?”

She sighed, “Lunch with friends, though I don’t think today counts as I’m close to marking you off that list. It’s not uncommon for me to go on a girl’s night out when I’m planet side.”

“But you never date,” he pointed out. In the three years since she’d been home, only one of which she’d been married, he couldn’t name one instance when she’d been seeing anyone.

“Mark--we’ve been over this before. I tried the relationship thing, it just isn’t for me.” She was glad that their lifetime friendship had remained intact, but there were just some things she was tired of discussing with him.

“Right, like you’ve really played the field. We were together for years, then you were stuck in the Delta Quadrant for nine years, two of which were spent married to Chakotay--and sometimes I wonder how he survived it. And knowing you like I do, it’s safe to say you haven’t seen *anyone* since the divorce.”

“So what?” She sighed again, “A failed marriage isn’t exactly the best incentive for moving on. Especially when it’s your fault it failed.”

“It takes two people to make a marriage Kath.”

“Exactly, and I’m the one who dropped the ball.”

He shook his head, “Not to hear him tell it. Besides, you couldn’t really call it failing. It’s not every woman who can say that her ex-husband is also her best friend.”

She smiled, “True, I don’t think I could have survived losing him completely.”

Mark took a sip from his own cup of coffee. “There is just one thing I never understood,” he said, setting the cup aside again. “Why did you get divorced? In the three years you’ve been back, and as much as I talk to the both of you, I never heard why.”

She frowned and began fingering the rim of her coffee cup. “We were happy, before we got home that is. I guess I just wasn’t ready to be a wife in the Alpha Quadrant. After 9 years aboard Voyager we both thought we were ready to put down roots, but as it turns out I wasn’t.” She shrugged, “For six months I tried the desk job, but it wasn’t me. And once I went back to command we started drifting apart, we wanted a family but with me gone weeks to months at a time it wasn’t practical. We knew where we were headed, Chakotay accepted it before I did, and he set me free before it turned ugly.”

“And now?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I’m more accustomed to life at home. I’ve thought, recently, about giving up my command, I may be relationship weary, but I’d still like to have a family--while I’m capable.”

He reached across the table to squeeze her hand; “There is nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed. You were used to doing things your own way for so long, that when you got back you found yourself lost.”

She smiled, “That’s what Chakotay says. Damn Mark, you’re going to have to stop spending so much time with him, you’re starting to sound like him.”

He laughed, “You know that’s what he says--about you.”

She leaned forward narrowing her eyes, “What else does he say about me?”

Mark winked, “I seem to recall the term stubborn, and then there was cast iron bitch, but those are givens.”

“It’s not easy being me.” She leaned back and grinned, “Being perfect takes time and precision.”

“You’re funny. Do you ever think about it?”

“About what?” she signaled the waiter for a coffee refill.

“About the two of you giving it another shot.”

She pursed her lips, “Well, I’d be lying if I said no. The thought has crossed my mind on occasion.” She paused as her cup was refilled, “I won’t deny how I feel about him. I love him as much now as I did the day I married him. But,” she shrugged, “he’s seeing someone now, and to hear him talk about it, it’s pretty serious.”

They finished off their coffee and walked out of the small restaurant, “Have you ever spoken to him about this?” Mark asked as he walked with her back to her apartment building.

“Of course not, I can’t suddenly call him up and say *Hey, I’m willing to be your wife again. Please take me back*.”

“And why the hell not, he loves you, or he wouldn’t have set you free.”

“Mark, it’s just not that easy.” They stopped outside her building, “I hurt him, and as much as I love him, he deserves to be happy.”

“Kathryn, nothing about your life has ever been easy.” He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head, “And I think you should let Chakotay decide what *really* makes him happy. Now that you’ve started realizing what you want, don’t wait until it’s too late.”

She sighed as he walked away, and turned to go inside. When she walked into her third floor apartment she went directly to her computer terminal and switched it on. She scanned through her list of messages stopping at one marked urgent. It was from Chakotay, *Kath, call me--4 a.m. whatever, we need to talk.* She frowned and closed the message reaching for the comlink.

“Hello?” she switched on the visual when he answered.

“Chakotay, I got your message, what was so important?”

He smiled, “Well, I know this is sudden, but Amanda and I are getting married.” She barely had time to process before he continued, “In three days.”

“In three days! You can’t get married in 3 days.” She blinked, “When did this happen?”

“A couple of weeks ago, her family knows, but I didn’t want to tell anyone else before I could speak with you. You’re not the easiest person to get in touch with.”

She shook her head, Mark’s last statement still echoing in her ears. “I knew you were serious about her, but I didn’t think you were THAT serious.”

He laughed, “Well, I can’t wait around for you forever.”

The joke pierced her heart but she quickly covered it, “Well--congratulations, I suppose.”

“I need you to be here Kath, there is no way I’ll get through this if you don’t hold my hand.”

“Well, I--”

“Come on, you’re planet side for 2 months. Say yes, please.” He flashed his dimples at her.

She closed her eyes, “When?”

“It’s one of those traditional three day events, we’re having it at her parent’s home in Maine. I’ll transmit the coordinates and pick you up at the transport center tomorrow--say 1100 hours?”

She nodded, “I’ll see you then.”

“Great, you don’t know how much this means to me Kathryn.”

She managed a small smile; “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then cut the link and was immediately out of her seat and pacing the small apartment like a caged animal. “So much for not waiting until it’s too late,” she grumbled to herself. She walked back over to the terminal and sent out a distress signal, *Mark get back over here now. My life as I know it is ending. --K*

She didn’t have to wait long, within half an hour he was beating on her door. “Kathryn, what happened?”

She jerked the door open and pulled him inside, “He’s getting married, how dare he!”

“Slow down, and tell me what happened.” He pulled her over to the sofa and sat her down.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. “When I got back from lunch with you there was an urgent message from Chakotay for me to contact him. Of course I did right away, and now I wish I hadn’t. He and Amanda are getting married--in 3 days.”

“What did you say?”

“What could I say, I told him congratulations and when he asked me to go to Maine for the wedding I said yes.”

“Alright, so...what are you going to do?”

“What do you think? I’ve got three days to go to Maine, break up a wedding and steal the groom for myself.”

“You’re going to what!?!”

She stared at him, “You’re the one who was just telling me not to wait until it was too late. So what do you mean I’m going to what. I’m going to make sure Chakotay doesn’t marry that blonde, brown eyed, thirty year old, TWIT!”

“Uh huh, and just how, exactly, are you going to accomplish that?”

“Well, I--uh--Hell! If I knew that I wouldn’t have called you!” She started pacing the room again, “I can’t just walk up and tell him he can’t marry her because he has to marry me. It’s going to take careful planning, a devious mind...oh god, why did I call you. I need Tom for this one!”

“Gee, thanks, I feel so loved.” He stood up and walked to her, “Kath, listen to me. Just tell him how you feel, its as simple as that.”

“Simple! Nothing in my life is simple!” She marched over to the replicator and ordered a cup of coffee, “I don’t believe this is happening. How did this happen?”

“Hey,” he took the cup away from her and cupped her face, “you haven’t lost him yet, now go get packed. I’ll go up there with you tonight.”

“Tonight? What about Melanie?” She asked referring to his wife, and more than a little surprised that he’d offered.

“Mel will understand, I’ll call her and ask her to pack some things for me. We’ll stop by on our way to the transport center.” He ushered her toward her room, “Now go, pack.”

“Yes sir.” She saluted him before disappearing into her room. “Mark,” she called back. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he called back. He shook his head and said to himself, “I hope this works, for both their sakes.”

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

When they arrived in Maine Kathryn and Mark checked into the Ocean View Inn, where Kathryn knew Chakotay had stayed before. A quick check at the front desk confirmed he was staying there now, and that he was currently out. A few carefully worded questions to the young desk clerk had earned them his whereabouts. Chakotay was with his future father-in-law and friends at a near by country club.

Kathryn drummed her nails on the desk; “Would it be possible for you top age my room when he gets back?”

“Yes ma’am.” The clerk reached for a padd to jot down a reminder.

“Wait a minute,” Mark held up a hand, “Why don’t you go down there and surprise him?”

“I don’t really think that’s such a good idea.” She chewed on her bottom lip.

“Well,” he said as he led her to the front entrance, “I think it’s a very good idea. You’re going to drive us both crazy until you see him, and this way there will be no mistake in making sure he knows you’re here.”

She sighed, “Alright, alright, I’ll go. Would you mind staying?”

He shook his head, “Not at all. I’ll go up and call Mel, good luck Kath.” He kissed her on the cheek before pushing her out the door.

The country club was only a few blocks from the Inn and easy enough to find. The walk gave Kathryn time to get her nerves under control and decide what she was going to say to him. She walked into the club and was shown to the terrace where the gentlemen had gathered. When she saw him she smiled, he was completely uncomfortable in this setting--it wasn’t him at all. “Please,” she said as she took a trey of drinks away from a waiter, “allow me.”  She walked to the terrace door and cleared her throat, “Let’s get you devilishly handsome gentlemen something to drink.”

Chakotay’s head whipped around at the unmistakable voice, a look o relief in his eyes, “Kathryn!” He stood and walked to her, kissing her on the cheek and trying to take the tray from her. “Let me take that.”

Kathryn moved it out of his reach, “Chakotay, are you implying that *I* am clumsy?”

He leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose, “Never.” He took her hand and led her toward the others, “Jason,” he stopped them in front of an older man, “I’d like for you to meet Kathryn, my ex-wife and closest friend.” As he stood and accepted Kathryn’s hand Chakotay continued, “This is Mandy’s father, my future father-in-law.”

“And torture master,” Jason said as he took a drink from the tray and sat down again.

The group laughed as he motioned her to the rest of the crowed. “You should know every one else.”

“Tom!” Kathryn hugged him when he stood. “Traitor,” she whispered in his ear. She gave him a crooked grin and pushed him back into this seat, then handed him a drink.

“And,” Chakotay took a drink for himself and sat down, “You definitely know this fella.”

“Owen,” she sat in his lap, “What are you doing here? I thought you were off torturing Ensigns and crushing young hearts?”

His chest rumbled with laughter as he took a drink off the tray, “I can do that anytime.”

Kathryn laughed as she stood and walked across to the rest of the group.

“Jason and Owen,” Chakotay explained, “Are old friends, he’s here for the wedding.”

“Oooh, well,” she winked at the elder Paris, “In that case, you had better save me a dance...”

“You dance?” Chakotay snorted, “When did you learn how to do that?”

She grinned wryly, “Darlin’ I’ve got moves, you’ve never scene.”

She passed the trey off to a waiter as Chakotay pinned her against the terrace railing, “You’re an impostor, what did you do with my Kathryn?”

She felt her heart constrict, “I’m still you’re Kathryn. You just haven’t seen me for a while, that’s all.”

He grinned and pulled her away from the others, leading her toward the gardens. “What are you doing here?” He asked when they were out of hearing range.

“You begged me to come remember?”

He shook his head, “you know what I mean. What’s going on Kathryn?”

She sighed, “You shocked me, I just wasn’t expecting that kind of news.”

“So I gathered, but you still haven’t answered my question.”

She shrugged, “It was Mark’s idea.” She rolled her eyes, “I sort of went crazy and he suggested I come tonight.” When he stopped to stare at her she took a deep breath, “I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing.”

He smiled, “Ex-wife’s prerogative?”

“No,” she matched his smile, “best friend’s prerogative.”

He looped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, “I’m glad you’re here.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his neck. She inhaled, drinking in his familiar scent. “So am I,” she murmured, “so am I.”

The following morning found Kathryn having breakfast with Amanda and Chakotay. Mark was also present, but remained quiet through the conversation. “Kathryn,” Amanda began tentatively, “I’d like to ask you a huge favor.” Kathryn nodded but said nothing. “My best friend and maid of honor is stuck on Vulcan and won’t make it back in time for the wedding. And my only other female relatives are my sisters, and I can’t possibly choose one over the other.  I would be so grateful, and honored if you’d stand with me?”

Shock showed clearly on her face, “Well, I, uh....” She exchanged a glance with Mark, “I’m not sure...”

“Please,” Amanda prodded.

“Kathryn caught Chakotay’s eye and closed her own. She nodded slowly, “Alright Amanda, I’ll do it.”

Amanda squealed loudly and leaned across the table to hug her, “Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you!”

Kathryn smiled in spite of herself, “You’re welcome.” She felt Mark squeeze her knee under the table and kicked him. She wasn’t sure how, but this was his fault.

Amanda beamed, “If you’re not busy we can go after breakfast and get you fitted.”

Kathryn cringed visibly, “Oh god, I hate shopping.”

The other woman laughed, “You hate shopping, cooking, camping, is there anything you *do* like?”

Chakotay leaned back in his chair and grinned, “Well, she likes to boss people around.”

Kathryn narrowed her eyes at him, “Well you would know, not that you ever listened.”

The group laughed and Chakotay glanced at an old style clock at the front of the room, “I have to meet Tom and Jason for our own fittings. So I’d better be going.” Everyone stood and he leaned over to kiss Amanda on the cheek, “I’ll see you all later.” He tugged on a lock of Kathryn’s hair as he passed her.

“We’d better get going as well,” Kathryn said to Amanda. She turned to Mark, “Want to come along? I know you hate it as much as I do, but misery loves company.”

He laughed, “As great as you make that sound, no. I need to check in with Melanie, and I brought some work along.”

“Alright, later then.” She brushed a kiss across his cheek and turned back to Amanda. “Lead the way.”

*~*~*~*~*

Kathryn tired to stand still as the seamstress pinned the bottom of the lavender dress for hemming. The old woman clucked her tongue, "You are a short thing aren’t you.” Kathryn scowled and looked down at her, then jerked suddenly. “I told you,” the seamstress said around a mouthful of pins, “you move, you bleed.” Kathryn made a rude noise as the woman stood and stepped back, appraising her work.

Amanda smiled, “It looks great Jan.”

The old woman snorted, “Of course it does.” She stepped forward and tugged on the straps of the dress, “These are going to be tighter, we don’t want those things to fall out.”

Kathryn arched a brow and said dryly, “I don’t know, could be the highlight of the day.”

Amanda started giggling; "I can just see the looks on all those old farts’ faces!”

Kathryn took a step down from the stool she’d been standing on and slipped the dress off with help from the seamstress. “It would definitely be a wedding none of them would soon forget.”

The seamstress took the dress and walked toward the door, “It won’t take me long to finish the alterations.”

Amanda followed her, I’m going to check with the house, and let you get dressed.”

Kathryn groaned loudly when they were both gone, “How do I get myself into these things.” She walked over to where she’d dropped her clothes and sorted through them, frowning when her personal communicator chirped, she plucked it from her suit jacket, “Yes?”

“Kath, it’s Mark. I’ve got some bad news; I’m going to have to abandon you. I have to go home for a meeting, but I’ll be back for the wedding.”

She sighed, “It’s alright Mark, I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“How did the fitting go?”

“It was utterly horrific, the dress is this lavender, off the shoulder thing.” There was a knock on the door, she assumed it was Jan or Amanda, “Come on in.” She whipped around at the sound of a male throat being cleared. “Chakotay!” She reached for her jacket and fumbled with it, trying to cover herself.”

He chuckled, “I’ve seen you in less, much less.”

She was already blushing, “That was different, and a long time ago...”

He held up her dress, "It seems I was chosen as lackey.” He draped it across a chair, “Kath, you’ve been working out, it looks good.” He winked before leaving the room.”

Kathryn lifted the communicator, “Mark, she’s toast.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Of course,” Kathryn said as she and Amanda walked back to the Inn, “You’ve been introduced to the ever changing rang of his snoring.”

“Oh yes, he sounds like a choked targ sometimes.”

Kathryn nodded and laughed, “Believe me, it gets worse.”

“Oh, and his habit of leaving his boots and carving tools on the table. And what is his deal with bath tubs?”

Kathryn laughed, “That’s my fault I’m afraid, I got him hooked on the damn things.”

Amanda shook her head, "We are wrong for each other, but it feels so right. He sleeps in the nude, eats dinner on the sofa while he works, props his feet on the coffee table, and he loves to cook!”

Kathryn smiled fondly, “Classic Chakotay, don’t change him.”

They stopped at the door of Kathryn’s room, “Tomorrow is going to be hectic, most of the rest of my family is arriving. But why don’t we get together tomorrow night,” Amanda suggested, “the three of us?”

Kathryn smiled, "Are you sure you want the ex-wife tagging along? It's probably going to be the last moment you and Chakotay have alone before the wedding."

Amanda shrugged, "You're his best friend, you were before you were married to him and you still are. I'd like us to be friends as well. You mean a great deal to him, and he means a great deal to me."

She thought about it for a moment, "Alright, tomorrow night then."

"Great," Amanda smiled genuinely, "I'll look forward to it. Goodbye."

"Bye," Kathryn waited until she had disappeared down the hall before stepping into her room. She sighed heavily and shook her head. "Don't lose your resolve now, even if she is nice." She repeated that mantra to herself for the rest of the day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So we're sitting there, its deadly quiet on the bridge," Kathryn gestured wildly as she recounted the tale to her dinner companions, "not a sound being made but the hum of the engines. And out of nowhere, Harry shouts… Goddamnit! What do you mean it's gone! It was just there! You stupid piece of shit! He starts pounding and kicking at his console. Then stops suddenly and looks around the bridge. Everyone is staring at him, and he just shrugs, and says… What? Can't a guy throw a tantrum every once in a while without everyone staring at him like he's crazy? Geez!" Kathryn sat back in her seat, laughing as Chakotay picked up the story.

"So Tuvok, in his most annoyingly stoic tone just raises his brow and says, Ensign there is a time and a place for tantrums but the bridge is not one of them, please refrain from doing so while on duty. Kathryn was laughing so hard by that time she falling out of her chair, I was trying not to laugh, and the rest of the bridge crew was just staring at us all like we'd gone completely nuts."

"So that," Kathryn picked up, "was when Harry turned to Tuvok, squared his shoulders," she started snickering so badly she couldn't finish the sentence.

"And told Tuvok to blow it out his ass he didn't give a shit where he was, the piece of junk we called a computer had just lost three weeks worth of research and sensor maintenance reports he'd been getting ready to transmit to the Captain. So unless Tuvok wanted to be the next thing torn apart he suggested the damned Vulcan keep his nose out of it."

"So about that time," Kathryn took a sip of her wine, "Tom who had remained uncharacteristically quiet at the helm, whistled and shook his head saying, What's the matter buddy, not getting laid anymore?"

"Meanwhile," Chakotay had leaned across Kathryn who was sitting next to him, to peer at Amanda, "The Lintadi ambassador, who is still on the view screen, is completely speechless. This one," he pitched his thumb toward Kathryn, "Is practically rolling around on the command deck, and Tuvok just blinked, cocked his head and said, perhaps ensign you should retreat to the holodeck to take care of this unfortunate situation."

"Tom just about busted a gut right then, and Harry," Kathryn cackled, "picked up a padd threw it at Tuvok so hard it shattered against the wall behind him, and stormed off the bridge muttering something none of us could hear over our own laughter."

"So the Lintadi ambassador finally recovers, stares at us laughing our asses off, and says very properly, Captain Janeway perhaps I've caught you and your crew at a bad time, I'll contact you later with the supply inventory you requested. Good day."

"And apparently, we were all carrying on so badly Tuvok had called the Doctor up to the bridge." She tried to sober, "He took one look around, shook his head, and demanded everyone be taken off the bridge, by force if necessary, and reprimanded to personal quarters for R&R until further notice…"

"Because," Chakotay interrupted, "We'd apparently all finally lost our ever loving minds!"

Amanda smiled politely, giggled accordingly, but hadn't seen the humor in the tale. "So what happened next?"

Kathryn catching her tone shrugged, "Well I had a long talk with Harry about his outburst, suggested he take a few more days off and then went back to my cabin to…" She trailed off, glanced at Chakotay who had been her husband at that time, "read."

Chakotay took a sip of his wine, "Come to find out Harry was a little stressed out. Apparently he had been seeing someone and they hadn't intended on getting serious but they had oopsed and he was worried about whether or not he was ready to be a father."

"Which he is," Kathryn interjected, "and he's doing a wonderful job of it. He and Yaela have two girls now."  She turned to Chakotay, "Speaking of which I saw them early last week, those kids are growing like weeds. It's frightening how fast they grow up."

Amanda interrupted before they could get too far into their own conversation, "Kids are great aren't they. We discussed having them, and Chakotay demands no less than six!" She smiled brightly, at her fiancé. Chakotay returned the smile, but glanced at Kathryn uncomfortably. On cue, Amanda caught it, "Oh I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have mentioned having kids. Well… that’s probably uncomfortable for you, considering what happened… and all. I'm terribly sorry."

She had attempted to brush it off, but at that last statement her head snapped up. "You know about that?" Before Amanda could reply her attention snapped to Chakotay. "You told her about that?" She was hurt, mortified, and being reminded of it brought back all the pain. "How could you tell her that? It was private, Chakotay that was just between us, no one knew about that." She stood, eyes shining, but tears carefully held at bay, "How could you?"

"Kathryn," He went after her without hesitation, "Kathryn wait." He followed her out of the restaurant and caught up with her at the corner. "Wait a minute will you, I'm sorry. I don't know what got into Amanda. Yes I told her." He sighed and raked a hand through his hair, "She wants kids, I wasn't sure that I do, so I told her why. I'm going to marry her Kathryn, I owed her an explanation to why I wasn't sure I wanted a family."

"It's only natural," she turned away from him, talking to herself, "People get married, they want kids, I should have expected it." She faced him again, "Of course you would have told her, I apologize for my outburst." A single tear flowed down her cheek, "I just didn't expect it." She looked down and toyed with the hem of her shirt.

"Kathryn," He sighed and reached for her, pulling her into his arms.

Half way into his embrace she pushed away from him, "Don't, please. You should go back to your fiancé Chakotay. She's waiting for you."

"I'm not going to do that until I know that you're alright."

"I'm fine," she squared her shoulders, wiped her cheek and smiled at him. "See, absolutely fine, never better."

He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Stay right here, I'll be back."

He was gone before she could respond, but as soon as he disappeared into the restaurant she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She figured she had about 30 seconds, maybe longer until he came back. Plenty of time for her to disappear, which she did. She went for a long walk; completely bypassing the Inn, as she knew that was the first place he'd look for her. The night air was crisp, and clean, and normally would have had a calming influence on her. But tonight she was too busy thinking back on her failures.

Yes, she admitted that she and Chakotay had wanted a family, on several occasions. But what she had failed to mention was that they had almost had one, and even though it was probably foolish on her part, she felt that if she hadn't lost that baby then their marriage probably wouldn't have fallen apart. There was nothing she could have done to save it; she knew that, she hadn't even known about the baby until it was too late. It was just one of those things that had happened. But that didn't make it no less painful, what hurt was that it had been their pain. No one had ever known about it, until now. He had taken something as personal as that and told it to… To the woman that was taking her place. She allowed herself to wallow in self-pity for several moments, then took a deep breath and turned to walk back toward the Inn. He was getting married tomorrow. The man she had loved, and would love the rest of her days was marrying another woman in less than 12 hours. Tonight was it, sink or swim. She had to tell him what was on her mind and in her heart. The worst he could do was reject her, she had nothing to lose, after all she was already alone.

It didn't take her long to get back to the Inn, she didn't wonder this time, simply went where she needed to be. She wondered, as walked up the stairs leading to guest quarters, if he would already be asleep. She paused outside his door, hand poised for knocking and debated whether she would be waking him. But a faint rustling from inside told her he was awake. She took a deep breath, and knocked.

Chakotay opened the door, studied her for a moment, and stepped aside. "I thought when I couldn't find you that you'd gone back to San Francisco. But something told me you hadn't, and I knew you'd be by tonight. I've been waiting for you."

She walked into his room and looked around; her eyes glimpsed his dress uniform hanging over the back of a chair. She stared at it for several moments before realizing he was waiting for her to say something. "We need to talk Chakotay."

"I gathered as much." He motioned her into the chair near the window and sat across from her. "Something tells me you didn't come to Maine to witness my wedding."

She closed her eyes, "No," she sighed, she looked him in the eye, "I came here to stop it."

"Kathryn…"

She held up a hand, "I couldn't let you get married without at least--" She toyed with the hem of her shirt as she turned the words over in her mind, searching for the right ones, "Without at least making sure that… That what we have--had is over. The thing is," She stood up and paced around the room, "we could have reconciled if we had wanted to, our marriage could have been saved but we--I wasn't ready to do that. I fled, suddenly everything wasn't as easy as it had been and I fled. I felt like a failure and I threw myself into my work because it was the only thing that made sense. Then I realized it wasn't my work that I wanted. But it was too late, you were gone, and now you're marrying someone else. I couldn't let that happen. Not without telling you how I felt. I don't want to regret the rest of my life." She stood before him, "I love you. I never doubted that, but until now I didn't think I could be a wife to you."

Anger flared in his eyes for the briefest moment, then it faded into regret. "And now you think you can?" He shook his head, "I'm getting married in the morning. Kathryn, it's too late."

"Is it? I don't think it is, not if you love me." She knelt in front of him and rested her hands on his knees. "If you can look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you don't love me, then I will leave now. I will try to salvage what is left of my dignity and hopefully will be able to save our friendship."  She took a deep breath, "And if not, then I'm sorry, but I will go on loving you."  A tear escaped her barrier and slipped down her cheek, "But if there is any doubt in your mind about your feelings for me, then I suggest you postpone the wedding and figure out how you really feel. Because if there is any chance for us, I don't want to miss it."

He stared at her for a minute, then stood and walked across the room. "We already missed our chance Kathryn." He clamped his eyes shut, "I don't--" He opened them and looked at her, "I don't love you--" His jaw clenched, "I don't love you like that anymore."

"I see," She stood slowly, "Then I'm too late." She stood still for a moment, giving him a chance to change his mind. When he didn't she crossed to the door, stopping only long enough to whisper, "Good bye Chakotay."

She was able to hold herself together as she packed up and went home, but she realized she couldn't be alone so she headed to Mark's instead. When he opened his door the dam broke. "I lost him," She whispered as she stepped into his arms.

Some time later, when he'd been able to calm her down he sat with her on the sofa, a cup of untouched coffee on the table in front of her, and Melanie curled up in a chair on the other side of the table. "I can't believe I acted like such a fool, I'm so embarrassed. And I managed to ruin a friendship that I've cherished for almost a decade."

"No," Mark squeezed her shoulder, "he'll appreciate you're honesty."

She snorted, "Yeah, okay. The night before his wedding I drop this in his lap and expect him to be all right with it. He's never going to forgive me Mark." She stood up, "I need to go home, I'll talk to you later."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Melanie stood with her.

"Yeah, I'm a big girl, I'll be alright." She let Melanie embrace her, "I'm sorry about bursting in here like this."

Melanie pulled back and smiled, "It's not a problem, and you know you're welcome here any time."

Mark walked Kathryn out, "If you need anything you know how to reach me."

"Thank you." She lightly kissed his cheek then left.

She went home and forced herself to go through the motions of getting ready for bed, but it was hours before she finally fell into a fitful sleep.

*~~~*~~~*~~~*

"Come on! I know you're in there. Damnit Kathryn, open the goddamned door."

She rolled over in bed, waking slowly. She blinked her eyes open and reached for the chronometer. "13:20," She groaned and got out of bed, only vaguely aware that someone was pounding on her door. She was also aware that Chakotay would be married by now, and most likely starting his honeymoon. She groaned again as she padded through the apartment. The incessant banging was getting louder. "What?" She barked as she jerked the door open.

Chakotay stepped forward, grabbing her. He framed her head in his hands and kissed her long and hard, forcing his tongue into her mouth.

Her hands clutched at his shirt where she'd placed them, ready to push him away. She moaned into his mouth, melting against him. When he pulled back she dropped her head onto his shoulder. "What are you doing here?" She rasped between deep breaths.

He pulled her head back, holding it in place in front of him. "I couldn't do it." He brushed her hair out of her face, "I couldn't marry Amanda--you were right. I thought you were just acting on some kind of possessive jealousy... thing. I was afraid that after a while you'd back away again."

"Chakotay, I would never--"

"No, please, let me finish. Divorcing you was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Freeing you to continue your career nearly killed me, but I did it because I loved you. I thought that if I gave us another chance you'd leave again, and I couldn't go through that again." He brushed tears away from her face as they fell, "But this morning Owen told me you'd resigned your command and asked him to find you a place at the Academy. He said you'd done it the morning after you arrived in Maine. I realized then how serious you'd been." He took a deep breath, "I explained things to Amanda and we called the wedding off. I have every intention of getting married again, but not today, and not to Amanda."

She shook her head and turned away from him, "But you said--

"I lied." He rested his hands on her shoulders, "I love you Kathryn, in the ten... twelve years, god I don't know how long its been. But I never stopped loving you in all that time."

She turned around and pressed her face into his neck, "I'm sorry I Hurt you," she whispered.

He pulled back and framed her face with his hands, brushing tears from damp cheeks, "I know," he shook his head and smiled, "but I'm willing to let you make it up to me."

She caught the familiar twinkle in his eyes and grinned, "Oh you are? And just how should I do that?"

He draped his arms across her shoulders, "Say yes."

"To what?" She arched a brow and slid her arms around his waist.

"To everything, we can fill in the questions later."

She laughed and leaned into him, "Yes!"

He buried his face in her hair and held her closer, "Good!" He pulled away again, "Now, Kathryn, I love you, but you look like hell." He grunted when she punched him in the side, but they both laughed. "So," he asked, "You free tonight?"

"No," she smiled at his startled expression, "I'm going to be with you."

The End...